Getting To Know Ashley

March 26, 2018

Doing The Right Thing

I wanted to reach out to all of you, and this applies to anyone, in every type of work, business and everyday life. Just in case your wondering. The most recent trial I encountered is; doing the right thing (for the right reasons) and having people dump out on me. Sounds pretty crazy right? It is. I guess some people just don’t appreciate that for some reason.

So as i’m sitting here on the tub side, waiting for my bath water to fill up, writing this on my iphone wordpad  (while everything is still fresh in my  mind and on my heart) I’m going to let you all know what exactly happened, I’ve really been thinking about the past few hours of this Saturday (Which I had hoped would have gone better).

I won’t get into names or business names for the sake of keeping things professional, even though they were in the wrong and very unprofessional. I’m trying to have grace towards them. It’s not easy. At all.

On this last styled shoot, there was a gal who was providing decor for us, I not knowing who it was at first, agreed that she could. Everything was running somewhat smoothly. (After a florist, baker & another baker backed out. But understand, I have absolutely no control over that) Everything came to a ugly halt, more like a face plant on the cement; honestly. The decor providers reputation came to light from a few people who had previously worked with her.  Dishonesty, Stolen items and stolen portfolios is what I was being told. By more than one person, and that was more than concerning. Mind you. THE DAY OF THE SHOOT! I was hunkering down and hoping it was all a misunderstanding about this person. But I had heard more and more about her reputation from friends in the industry who I trust with my heart. Things started to weigh heavy Saturday morning.

It became clear that I had to excuse the decor provider from the shoot. I had never met her before, and honestly it was insanely awkward having to tell her everything that I had heard about her. But I had to, I had to be honest with her and our team, and the venue. All in knowing that:

  1.  We probably wouldn’t be using any decor (Which is very important in a shoot)
  2. This person may backfire at me and do something to hurt my business
  3. There is a god awful chance that someone is going to be Really upset.

I didn’t want any of these to happen. I had worked so hard on this shoot, like all of my other ones. Emailing, Calling and messaging people around the clock to make sure everyone’s schedules will match up and that we are all on the same page. Putting a styled shoot together is a lot of work you guys. A lot. But I know this when taking these on, because I love doing it, I love letting my creativity work its way out in a positive way and I love being able to help others, and putting the stress on myself instead of them. People are important to me, and I don’t want to let them down.

So when I notified our Decor vendor, excusing her from the shoot; I was hoping she would comply and understand where I was coming from. That I wasn’t accusing her of anything, but that I had to protect every other vendors best interest and hard work to have something happen. I was so thankful when she understood. I dropped my phone while I was sitting in the car and looked up thanking God for how seamlessly she complied, and how helpful she was about dropping off the cake she had picked up.

But then notifying the venue was another story. I told them everything, and that there would be a  minute delay to vendors showing up. In return, they did not understand one bit. I expected them to be frustrated, because I was frustrated myself, and so was the rest of the team. But when the venue fired off a rude and rather unprofessional text…wow. That was eye opening to how they ran things. I understood their frustration, what I didn’t understand was how they could be so cold, not knowing how hard I had worked.

I told the venue I had excused this person from the shoot to protect the venue, to protect their items and belongings, because I would rather have no table decorations at a shoot, then risk the possibility of something being stolen, or worse.  I wasn’t about the put the venue at that risk, or anyone else on our team. And to be blatantly disrespected by the venue because of that was quite silly if you’d ask me. So the venue canceled our shoot a couple of hours before it was supposed to take place. I was so frustrated I couldn’t think.

BUT after all that happened; the rest of our team understood even though they were just as frustrated. And I am so thankful for them and people like them who open up their hearts and extend grace to others. It’s because of their positive attitudes and performance, along with their understanding that we were able to use a studio closer to Portland who opened their doors for us. (Delyse Baker–your amazing and I can’t thank you enough).

These are the type of people you want on your side, and the people who mean so much to me. To each and every vendor who made this shoot possible and stuck with it through the thick and think, you are the best and I want to thank you all, from the bottom of my heart.

So at the end of the day, or even the beginning, there may come a time where doing the right thing will cost you, people may walk away from you or your business for doing the right thing. Don’t let that get you down, not even in the slightest way. It doesn’t matter if your big plans will fall to pieces, because doing the right thing is always better than wondering, ‘why didn’t I just do the right thing in the first place, or follow my gut?” and being upset with yourself.

Take heart my sweet friends! The people walking away from you when you do what is right, don’t deserve you at all  <3



-Ashley Marie

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  1. Katie Graham

    March 29th, 2018 at 9:02 pm

    Ashley, I totally feel for you in this! Such a difficult situation! Following your gut though is ALWAYS the right thing! I’m so glad you did! And having the chance to find out who in the industry you can really trust is invaluable. Those are the people, like you said, that you want on your team. xx